how to survive a broken heart

that feeling, when someones leaves you, is the worst, and words can’t describe it. it’s a permanent pain and you think it will never stop. there is no cure for this pain, but here are some tips and thoughts, that may help.

1. you may have heard this a thousand times, but it needs time! no one suffers from a broken heart his whole life. you will recognize that the pain will get less each day, and you will think less about it everyday. if you really have problems with that, you can make yourself a list, where you can check mark each day, so you can set yourself a goal. maybe 100 days, for example. for me, it works, because i get excited each day, because i can make my check mark and i know that after 100 days i will feel better. it’s okay to be sad now, but i have a limit. and if you still feel a little pain, extend this. i think that we will always have those memories in our head, sometimes even painful, but the goal is, not to have this memories in our minds several times a day and feeling very bad about it.
2. you have to accept that being sad is okay. don’t force yourself to be happy. this won’t work a bit. you know that there is pain, and you have to live with it. don’t see it as an enemy and don’t be afraid, when it strikes. see it as an unpleasant flatmate, so you know that there will be pain, sometimes more, sometimes less, and it’s okay. it’s part of the process. don’t work against it, this will make it worse. cry, whenever you want, as much as you want. you will feel better after it. crying is a sign of strenght, in my opinion. but also, this doesn’t mean that you work yourself up about this matter!
3. don’t search for the next partner too fast. there is no definite moment, for when you are able to get into a relationship again, but you will notice. don’t try to replace your expartner shortly after it, you will always compare them and feel very bad about it. you can have sex, try things out, do whatever you want. or you can stay away from such things, and that’s okay too. find your own way, but don’t hurt the feelings of another person, it will hurt you even more too, and you won’t get over the other person you try to leave behind
4. what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and i believe in that. maybe it was your first love, and maybe you thought it was the love of your life. but these experiences only makes us stronger, like every experience does. it will help you to love better and to get to know yourself and your idea of love.
5. i think everybody searches for his soulmate, and maybe you thought that is was the love of your life. okay, obviously it was not. but there are reasons for it! you can have the same interests like your partner, do the same sport, watch the same television show, or maybe you and your partner are totally different and you enjoy it. but these things doesn’t matter at all, when your partner has a different idea of relationships and love in general. maybe he/she wants to be sure that the relationship will last forever, and maybe you will see what the future holds, because you live today and not in the future. that’s okay. but if you have different ideas of love, this thing won’t work. you have to accept that for yourself and maybe you unterstand better why your partner left you. and of course you are looking for that one person to spend the rest of your life with, and this person is out there, somewhere. you could meet him/her everyday, no one knows. i think this is quite exciting, and it makes me looking forward to every day. this person will have the same idea of love, and this is what will make your relationship last.
6. do things, which will not make you think about it. spend as much time with your friends as you can. good friends are the best thing in life, and they were never as important as now. watch tv shows or read books, just to keep your mind free. don’t stay somewhere alone with your thoughts. and don’t forget about the priorities in your life: school, your job, whatsoever. no one in this world that left you, is it worth that you give that up, always keep that in mind. you are now your top priority!
7. stay positive about your life. if you are reading this, you are a quite wealthy person, you have access to the internet, to food, water and education, don’t take this for granted and be thankful for that everyday. there is no reason to be sad about things, when you can live in peace at your home.

 

i don’t know if this will help, or if this is total crap, but let’s see. and remember:

things will work out in the end, always.

what it felt like when you left

i knew something was wrong. i knew it all the time, but i trusted you. and then, i forced you to tell me. and you told me. that your feelings for me disappear. and that it’s over.

it was like you ripped out my heart. for a moment, my whole body became numb and i felt nothing. then, like an explosion, there was the pain. nothing like pain. a pain i cannot explain. i’ve never felt physical pain that is comparable to that. i heard nothing, i didn’t really noticed things happening around me. everything was numb except the pain. and then i realized. i stumbled and couldn’t breathe. for a moment, everything was black. i knew nothing: what to do, where to go. i couldn’t think of anything. i just wanted to lay down and die. or walk away until i can’t no more.

then came the stage of neglect. alcohol and cigarettes. and the stage of ridiculousness. i laughed about it. i hadn’t slept for almost three days and i couldn’t really eat anything. that was two days after. the pain was so strong and unreal. it took all over my thoughts. i still couldn’t sleep.

it is impossible to delete you from my everyday life in one second. i knew i will never kiss you again. never be next to you again. it will never be as beautiful as it was.

you’re the first one who i think of when i wake up. and the last one who i think of before i fall asleep. alone in bed, where you were before. next to me.

i thought you were the love of my life. well, obviously i was wrong. i’m afraid of loving again.

and the worst thing is, that you are all fine with that.

and maybe we think too much

maybe this is life:

making decisions rashly and regret them later. crawling up in bed at night, alone with oneself and the heartsickness. going on and thinking: it’ll be alright. but then, it is not.

maybe love is that, what we create it to be, and not what we expect from it. and maybe the meaning of life is, that we appreciate it without seeing a meaning.

and maybe we think too much.

Hello out there.

hi. wow, this is exciting. i’m about to start my own blog. at this point I have no idea what this is going to be about, i think i just want to share some thoughts. i’m at a point in my life where i think much about life in general, what i want to do with my life, what love really means to me, feminism and stuff like that. i don’t have a concept, but i think we’re all fine with that.

before I ever publish my real share, i want to thank my biggest inspirations here on the internet: Maxi from earthlingmaxi and Amy Lee from vagabond youth. i’ve been following them for years, i’ve seen them growing with their business and they inspire me so much, I can say that they contributed to the way i am today. and i thought: hey, when they can do something on the internet, i can try too. let’s see what will happen.

also: i’m sorry if my english sounds weird or something, but i’m no native speaker. so already sorry for that!